Just like a tacky instagram name, we to have become an officialwebsitesuperawkwardgirl.com. How great. As you don’t know, superawkwardgirl began as a blood lust project that I started at the age of 26, I’m 102 now and MUCH wiser. No, I’m an idiot and 31, but barely 31. Let’s learn a little bit about me and why you’re here and what you’ll learn:
What’s up? I’m Reb Johnson, the world’s first drag king and your not-so-humble narrator.
I was born with an empty cup and a need to survive. That drive drove me to Hollywood, California at the tendered age of 25, which was about 7 years too late (there’s gonna be a lot of numbers here so buckle up). I always wanted to be an actor, or at least I told myself that. It’s not my fault really, you see, once you get into the world people will constantly ask about your story, like you need one. So… That sounded about wrong or right, whichever one gets me there I guess.
Flash forward to now-a-day.
I’m sitting on a couch in my bachelorette apartment, it has no sink. Air conditioner. Pets.
I’m drinking the world’s strongest coffee, or so it claims to be. Who is gonna fight that statement? Probably not the world’s weakest coffee, that’s for sure.
Both of my eyes are swollen up, I believe my evil sister Victoria poisoned me over Thanksgiving because she ASSUMED I didn’t give her a birthday gift the day before Thanksgiving, which would be her 33 birthday. I did.
Leave it to a woman to assume things.
And I’m writing because I realize it’s Sunday, I have few friends and endless woes and truly need to make use of this day on earth because you’ll never get them back. Which begs the question of the day.
How many pointless day equal the great big one? The main event? Like how many not-so-special days will there be until the next GOOD or REALLY BAD one?
You know the ones, meeting the love of your life (good), losing your job (good), finding out your step brother is really a cop who has been following you for years just to tell you that your grandmother is dead but he couldn’t, seeing as how you were so happy and all at home with the family so he just kinda ASSUMED the role of cop brother and laid low until the day finally came to tell you the sobering truth about Grandma Lela’s passing (bad).
Leave it to an undercover cop brother to assume.
My last important day was August 29th 2021, in this same year and days ago. Today is November 28th, 2021, and I am bad at math. It was a while ago. Everyday since then has been relatively pointless, made up of day working, unhealthy habits going off-on repeat and endless buckets of tears. I broke my own heart that day, which I’ve done many times before, mind you.
Now, this isn’t a particular special tale of a broken heart, but it is broken and this tale is kick-ass special because it’s mine and you are here to witness the past, present and fucking future.
Go off and live a little today, OK?